Q: What do you get if you cross the English cricket team with an OXO cube?
A: A laughing stock
Q: What’s the difference between a Cinderella and a Pommy cricket team?
A: Cinderella knew when to leave the ball!
Q: What’s the difference between a Pommy cricket team and a funeral director?
A: A funeral director isn’t going to lose the Ashes!
Q: What’s the height of optimism?
A: An English batsman putting on sun screen!
Q: What do English batsmen and drug addicts have in common?
A: Both spend their time wondering where their next score is coming from!
Q: What’s the difference between an English batman and a formula 1 driver at speed?
A: Nothing. If you blink your eye you will miss them both!
Q: What does an English batman who is playing in the Ashes and Michael Jackson have in common?
A: They both wore gloves for no apparent reason!